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Showing posts from 2019

Decided to Be Decisive

You can't cram in life. It only creates strife.  Be the choice wrong or right Just drop the fight And do it right You have a purpose, a mission.  Go and live it.  Stop retracing your steps,  Time to jump in it.  I am constantly re-deciding to be a teacher. It would be so settling to be decisive. To know that I am not adjusting my work commitments and just proceed ahead. But that's not who I am. I am a thinker. I've tossed around the same question of "should I work" so long that it morphed into, "how much should I work" until it reached a point where my best friend identified my work cycle. Stage One: Made a commitment Stage Two: Overwhelmed with the commitment Stage Three: Cut back my responsibilities Stage Four: Bored so make more commitments Then back to stage two and round again. She figured that out a while ago. A year or two even. So for the first year I followed the cycle as usual with her laughing sadly. At the start

In but not of - becoming a "Guide on the Side"

On the one hand, there is an incredible advantage to taking things personally. In Chassidic terminology, that is called being a "Pnimi". A Pnimi is someone who integrates their learning, has in inward-focus and applies everything. They know that it's real and applicable and take the journey seriously. And yet... it is exhausting to live life Pnimiusdikally. I consider a particular student who has questions about  everything.   She struggles, man. I feel for her. Constantly battling integration or seeking authenticity. It is a heavy-duty approach to life. Thing is.. she's real. I feel her struggle because I do it, too. That's me. In the classroom, letting the girls behaviour get under my skin or their questions rankle me deep inside. NO! Part of moving to being a  Guide on the Side is placing the students front and centre. I've been working on this for two years! Of course, I need to put myself in the class, be present and be a part of it. But it needs

Choosing a Point of View

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They are a good class, a marvelous class. I am so blessed to be their teacher, what a wonderful class they are. You should see their energy - Geshmak! I set them up to learn b'chavrusa and that buzz of learning… its out of this world. The passion and energy with which they debate each other highlights their zest and curiosity. At times, their enthusiasm reaches a crescendo as they break out into song. This class is a real gift. The girls are alive! They care! They have opinions! They are engaged! What a joy. Thank you, Hashem for the opportunity to teach this special cohort. OK, you guessed it: I’m out to convince myself.  Most of my colleagues would describe this group as chatty, impossible, unrestrained, challenging or even dysfunctional. And they are not wrong! Thing is, my description above was the truth, too. It was the truth through rose-coloured glasses, desperate to see the potential in the problem.  Dear Hashem, I pray that I may find the strength to