Mommy Morah

Night and day bleed into each other. With everyone around all day, there is no beginning and no end. I've desperately tried to carve out some none-work time. Turned off WiFi for a while so that we could all connect. And it was nice. But then the minutes and hours continue ticking along and though the younger ones are asleep the older two keep coming down for snacks and conversation. I'd decided that instead of feeling stressed about how much work I had to complete with everyone home all day, it was time to work. Younger children were in bed and I had tidied up most of the kitchen and eating area. Could have been perfect. But the older two lag, waiting for the final closure perhaps. The rigidity of a bedtime enforced by Mother. Well they were in the kitchen and my hand was hurting from all the tapping and typing. Walked over to hang out, chat somewhat. But they seemed to cranky. Once they had my attention, or in order to get it (can't remember the sequence!) they squabbl...

The other day I had an epiphany. "I'd better start liking bedtime," I wrote in my diary, "after all, by the rate things are going I'm going to be serving at this post for another 20 years." OK, I exaggerate. My youngest is 6 weeks so I've got another 10 years of bedtime ahead of me? 12? Either way, I need to stop crying that I hate bedtime every night. Literally crying. Last night my husband was out during the joyous hour. At one point in the chaos of bedding down three big ones while holding a newborn I'd had enough. I tried "disengage". Clutching baby to my chest I closed the door to my bedroom, leaned against it and started sobbing, praying for success in The Bedtime Battles. Tonight was the opposite side of the coin. The difference was dramatic! Oh sure, my throat was still sore at the end of it but thankfully that was caused by a different sort of screaming. It was Love Screaming. The turnaround came after everyone was s...