Mommy Morah

Night and day bleed into each other. With everyone around all day, there is no beginning and no end. I've desperately tried to carve out some none-work time. Turned off WiFi for a while so that we could all connect. And it was nice. But then the minutes and hours continue ticking along and though the younger ones are asleep the older two keep coming down for snacks and conversation. I'd decided that instead of feeling stressed about how much work I had to complete with everyone home all day, it was time to work. Younger children were in bed and I had tidied up most of the kitchen and eating area. Could have been perfect. But the older two lag, waiting for the final closure perhaps. The rigidity of a bedtime enforced by Mother. Well they were in the kitchen and my hand was hurting from all the tapping and typing. Walked over to hang out, chat somewhat. But they seemed to cranky. Once they had my attention, or in order to get it (can't remember the sequence!) they squabbl...

The other day I had an epiphany. "I'd better start liking bedtime," I wrote in my diary, "after all, by the rate things are going I'm going to be serving at this post for another 20 years." OK, I exaggerate. My youngest is 6 weeks so I've got another 10 years of bedtime ahead of me? 12? Either way, I need to stop crying that I hate bedtime every night. Literally crying. Last night my husband was out during the joyous hour. At one point in the chaos of bedding down three big ones while holding a newborn I'd had enough. I tried "disengage". Clutching baby to my chest I closed the door to my bedroom, leaned against it and started sobbing, praying for success in The Bedtime Battles. Tonight was the opposite side of the coin. The difference was dramatic! Oh sure, my throat was still sore at the end of it but thankfully that was caused by a different sort of screaming. It was Love Screaming. The turnaround came after everyone was s...

I'm starting a new parenting course. This was a big jump for me as I really, really liked Sheffer. Oh, sure there was an item or two that didn't sit well with me. In general, though, I'd really adopted the approach and was using it exclusively. There was one problem: Consolidation. Part of the structure of the Sheffer system is to solve problems. At each session a participant would raise an issue and then after learning the topic of the day we'd resolve it (actually she'd resolve it) after digging deep to discover what the problem really was. Towards the end of the course, sessions were spent problem-solving all the way. It was terrific. I loved the system and was even able to do some problem solving with a friend on the phone. And time moved on... And I grew forgetful... And I'm stuck. Stuck believing in a system that I am no longer able to practice. I need the support of the problem solving sessions or a refresher course, but alas, neither ...

He's not three weeks old yet. I should be resting, they tell me. But whilst my body is fatigued my mind is bored. I'm used to being busy and productive - I mean, I was still working 3 days before birth and uploading materials for my sub in between contractions. So it's no wonder I haven't slowed down yet. And quite frankly, I'm not sure I want to slow down. When people ask, "How are you?" Or "Wow, out and about already?" I'm stuck. Sure, I need the rest. But I'm feeling cooped up and just plain bored. My older son (6.5) is thrilled to have a brother. He's been discussing at exactly which point baby brother will move into his room. Part of me wants to snuggle him close and never let go. As time passes, though, another part of me grows.... The part that's counting down until baby is old enough to sleep through the night and I can get back to routine. Look, kid, if your reading this don't worry - I love you like crazy! Snap...

"Lollies," my son fondly stated, "we can only eat one. It's not healthy." I could almost hear a deep sigh. Such trauma for a three year old. He wasn't finished. Daniel had prepared an entire thesis on the subject that he was preparing to expound on the topic, right there, in the back seat of the car. "Some foods are yummy, but they are not healthy." Yes, my son, such is life... "We can only eat them on Shabbos. Like lollies and cookies." "Daniel," I asked him, "What about strawberries? Are strawberries a treat?" "Yah." a little wag of the finger accompanied the next injunction. "But only one." "Why?" "It's not healthy." The laughter bubbled up inside of me, but I squeezed down the lid to maintain a straight face. "Sweetie, strawberries are yummy AND healthy." Oh. "What about watermelon?" "Yes, honey, watermelon is healthy....

My little one buggied and cheered through her morning music session. She totally digged the instruments - shakers, triangles, tambourines, you name it. She went through them one by one. Most importantly, she walked across the room to retrieve those items. I find it intriguing to note that only when she really, really, REALLY wants something, when there is an all-important (fill in the blank) then she'll go for it. She hardly notices that she is walking. And that's when she makes her best efforts. Willpower!!! There is nothing that stands in the way of will

They finally convinced me. My students asked several times for permission to watch the  Young Avraham Animation Film . This would be during class time, naturally. Though I was personally interested in seeing the film, I was rather reluctant to give up class time for it. Trust me, it was worth it. Avraham's birth A video captures the heart in a way that it is hard for text to emulate. Videos speak to an emotional level; texts to the intellect. Young Avraham really brings the medrashim to life. We watched the video after learning the material, so the girls' questions were based on the material they had studied. I only wish there was a viewers guide listing the meforshim the film is based on. I would love to use that as my curriculum, then highlight our learning with the final viewing. Alternatively, we could watch and query (as they were) and WRITE DOWN the questions. Then, they should be motivated enough by their own curiosity to research the answers on their...

1. Why is this student different from all other students? 2. How does one tolerate her incessant queries? 3. How could I diffuse her classmates' frustration? 4. What can I, personally, gain out of this experience? [Credit to  Rochi and Rivki ] Shoshi* is in Seder-mode all year long. She doesn't miss a thing and questions every detail of my lecture until it is absolutely clear to her. Most teachers and classmates are bothered by her endless queries. Not me. She charmed me on day one with the most gorgeous smile ever, so I am completely won over. Besides, I admire her sincerity (and focus!). Pirkei Avot teaches that the shy student will not learn (לא הבישן למד). I've seen it time and again. Students are too often afraid to raise their hands. I wonder about it... Perhaps they are lacking poker chips that day and are afraid of sounding dumb. I've tried to assure students that asking is harmless, to no avail.  Teachers may be known for giving pat answers, or simp...

It was two and a half hours of one family after the next. Some mothers came alone, other parents came as couples and still others brought their daughters along. It was parent-teacher evening , one of the most tiring yet most productive events in the school calendar. "Esther* has a hard time staying focused..." my voice trailed off.  I smiled a sad smile as I watched the mother's eyes wander off to the corner of the room. My audience had lost focus.  Like mother, like daughter. Does she stand a chance? Family connections are a funny thing. Students are regularly compared to their siblings (and mothers!). Younger sisters are often "figured out" before they've had a chance to prove themselves one way or another. It is almost expected that they will have similar scholastic and social abilities. The funny thing is, I don't see it. Last year I taught two sisters concurrently, but I did not uncover their familial relationship until parent-teacher ...

I am torn. Truthfully, I wish I was still torn. During the year, I spent lots of time out and about preparing for lessons / teaching / grading papers etc. I always felt like the time invested in school was being stolen from my children. So I constantly complained that I felt torn. I got excited watching the calendar near summer. Finally, I  would be able to focus on my kids, craft, drive toy cars around the house, cook nice meals, tidy my closets, laze around at home... Not quite. Instead, I am busy hopping from park to park when I'm not wasting time at the computer and scattering clutter across my home. I was starting to doubt my mothering. I finally have the time to spend with my kids, yet.... Then I read  this post  and I realized that I'm doing something right. Sure, I am out frequently and my toddler is in day care almost full-time (something I really dislike, but we'll leave that for another time...). Thing is, when he is home and awake I aim to be 10...

Daniel loves drawing. I am careful to compliment him on his scribbles, providing specific praise at every opportunity. It might sound funny to you  when I say "look at that line!" or "you drew 'round and 'round in circles!" but Daniel beams!  Once, I drew a car while he was hard at work with his sketches. He was impressed, and since then has insisted that I draw cars on most of his pictures.  He has grown rather fond of his name (as I would assume most people are).  I found myself labeling his drawings several times over. As I did, I was careful to say the name of each letter as I wrote it in order to increase his familiarity. Today I suggested that he give it a try. Have a look: Daniel's first "Daled" Mind you, that was his first attempt! Oh, the pride... Sure, he's seen it a number of times. Nonetheless, I am confident that the fact that daled [ד] is the letter that starts his name is what prompted him to get it right....

"Stay focused, Mimies!" What? Did he really say that? I laughed to myself and grabbed a pen to jot down Daniel's latest line for future reference. What a riot! *** When my firstborn was an infant, he loved to eat. He would feed for a full hour until he fell asleep contented in a drunken stupor. His younger sister did not follow his lead. Sure, she liked to eat, but there were too many exciting things going on around her. Foremost amongst the distractions were her older brother's antics. She would turn towards him when she heard the pitter-patter of his little feet, breaking out into a huge grin each time. I was constantly after her to "stay focused!" Seems Daniel picked up the lingo! He continued using the term - usually within context - for several months following. *** Daniel really got me pondering my activities. He would warn me to "stay focused" while I was climbing a chair, reading a book, mixing cake batter, sitting at th...