Mommy Morah

Night and day bleed into each other. With everyone around all day, there is no beginning and no end. I've desperately tried to carve out some none-work time. Turned off WiFi for a while so that we could all connect. And it was nice. But then the minutes and hours continue ticking along and though the younger ones are asleep the older two keep coming down for snacks and conversation. I'd decided that instead of feeling stressed about how much work I had to complete with everyone home all day, it was time to work. Younger children were in bed and I had tidied up most of the kitchen and eating area. Could have been perfect. But the older two lag, waiting for the final closure perhaps. The rigidity of a bedtime enforced by Mother. Well they were in the kitchen and my hand was hurting from all the tapping and typing. Walked over to hang out, chat somewhat. But they seemed to cranky. Once they had my attention, or in order to get it (can't remember the sequence!) they squabbl...

He's not three weeks old yet. I should be resting, they tell me. But whilst my body is fatigued my mind is bored. I'm used to being busy and productive - I mean, I was still working 3 days before birth and uploading materials for my sub in between contractions. So it's no wonder I haven't slowed down yet. And quite frankly, I'm not sure I want to slow down. When people ask, "How are you?" Or "Wow, out and about already?" I'm stuck. Sure, I need the rest. But I'm feeling cooped up and just plain bored. My older son (6.5) is thrilled to have a brother. He's been discussing at exactly which point baby brother will move into his room. Part of me wants to snuggle him close and never let go. As time passes, though, another part of me grows.... The part that's counting down until baby is old enough to sleep through the night and I can get back to routine. Look, kid, if your reading this don't worry - I love you like crazy! Snap...

A bit of self reflection before Rosh Hashana... Found this short draft from April: I'm disappointed with myself. I cut back on work for the express purpose of being more available for my family. It's been two months and I still haven't gotten my act together. Take tonight for instance: When the kids came home from school today I served dinner and hung out with them. But then I started to feel a bit restless, and as bedtime drew near, I started marking tests when I should have been dressing the little 'uns in p-jams. And now: The next term I increased my teaching load from one subject to four subjects, in addition to sporadic subbing. Last week I taught 17 hours face to face! When I try to picture the amount of preparation that went into that... shudder. My  kaf hakelah  experience this year taught me two really important things: 1. Firstly, like the old VP at school used to say, "If you want to make sure something will happen then give the job to the busies...

They finally convinced me. My students asked several times for permission to watch the  Young Avraham Animation Film . This would be during class time, naturally. Though I was personally interested in seeing the film, I was rather reluctant to give up class time for it. Trust me, it was worth it. Avraham's birth A video captures the heart in a way that it is hard for text to emulate. Videos speak to an emotional level; texts to the intellect. Young Avraham really brings the medrashim to life. We watched the video after learning the material, so the girls' questions were based on the material they had studied. I only wish there was a viewers guide listing the meforshim the film is based on. I would love to use that as my curriculum, then highlight our learning with the final viewing. Alternatively, we could watch and query (as they were) and WRITE DOWN the questions. Then, they should be motivated enough by their own curiosity to research the answers on their...

I am torn. Truthfully, I wish I was still torn. During the year, I spent lots of time out and about preparing for lessons / teaching / grading papers etc. I always felt like the time invested in school was being stolen from my children. So I constantly complained that I felt torn. I got excited watching the calendar near summer. Finally, I  would be able to focus on my kids, craft, drive toy cars around the house, cook nice meals, tidy my closets, laze around at home... Not quite. Instead, I am busy hopping from park to park when I'm not wasting time at the computer and scattering clutter across my home. I was starting to doubt my mothering. I finally have the time to spend with my kids, yet.... Then I read  this post  and I realized that I'm doing something right. Sure, I am out frequently and my toddler is in day care almost full-time (something I really dislike, but we'll leave that for another time...). Thing is, when he is home and awake I aim to be 10...