Busy with Loads of Time
A bit of self reflection before Rosh Hashana... Found this short draft from April:
I'm disappointed with myself. I cut back on work for the express purpose of being more available for my family. It's been two months and I still haven't gotten my act together. Take tonight for instance: When the kids came home from school today I served dinner and hung out with them. But then I started to feel a bit restless, and as bedtime drew near, I started marking tests when I should have been dressing the little 'uns in p-jams.
And now:
The next term I increased my teaching load from one subject to four subjects, in addition to sporadic subbing. Last week I taught 17 hours face to face! When I try to picture the amount of preparation that went into that... shudder. My kaf hakelah experience this year taught me two really important things:
1. Firstly, like the old VP at school used to say, "If you want to make sure something will happen then give the job to the busiest person you can find." I found that to be true for me personally this term. I've BH been able to keep my head over water and work out a system to still run my house and love my children (and myself!!) as a result of the busy-ness.
2. Secondly, stop kvetching. At one point during all my busy-busy-ness I made a mental switch. I decided that instead of whining that I didn't have time to breathe (which was close to true!) I should just keep going and quit complaining. What a relief that was! I actually enjoyed being busy once I stopped analyzing my life choices five times every day. I think 'saving Cheshbon HaNefesh for evening' should be my new hachlata this year, no?
I'm disappointed with myself. I cut back on work for the express purpose of being more available for my family. It's been two months and I still haven't gotten my act together. Take tonight for instance: When the kids came home from school today I served dinner and hung out with them. But then I started to feel a bit restless, and as bedtime drew near, I started marking tests when I should have been dressing the little 'uns in p-jams.
And now:
The next term I increased my teaching load from one subject to four subjects, in addition to sporadic subbing. Last week I taught 17 hours face to face! When I try to picture the amount of preparation that went into that... shudder. My kaf hakelah experience this year taught me two really important things:
1. Firstly, like the old VP at school used to say, "If you want to make sure something will happen then give the job to the busiest person you can find." I found that to be true for me personally this term. I've BH been able to keep my head over water and work out a system to still run my house and love my children (and myself!!) as a result of the busy-ness.
2. Secondly, stop kvetching. At one point during all my busy-busy-ness I made a mental switch. I decided that instead of whining that I didn't have time to breathe (which was close to true!) I should just keep going and quit complaining. What a relief that was! I actually enjoyed being busy once I stopped analyzing my life choices five times every day. I think 'saving Cheshbon HaNefesh for evening' should be my new hachlata this year, no?
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