In but not of - becoming a "Guide on the Side"
On the one hand, there is an incredible advantage to taking things personally. In Chassidic terminology, that is called being a "Pnimi". A Pnimi is someone who integrates their learning, has in inward-focus and applies everything. They know that it's real and applicable and take the journey seriously.
And yet... it is exhausting to live life Pnimiusdikally. I consider a particular student who has questions about everything. She struggles, man. I feel for her. Constantly battling integration or seeking authenticity. It is a heavy-duty approach to life.
Thing is.. she's real.
I feel her struggle because I do it, too.
That's me. In the classroom, letting the girls behaviour get under my skin or their questions rankle me deep inside. NO! Part of moving to being a Guide on the Side is placing the students front and centre. I've been working on this for two years! Of course, I need to put myself in the class, be present and be a part of it. But it needs to be a little more external, a little less self-centred. Students success, failure and focus are not fully reflective on me as a professional. Sure, to a degree it is reflective, but I need to get out of myself a bit and make it more about the students growth and acquisition of skills and knowledge. Time to get a bit more Chitzonisdik, Morah!
For me, being Chitzon in this circumstance is more true to my mission. And thus... I plan to blog a bit more often, to get it off my chest so I can keep on teaching. Reflection is key.
And yet... it is exhausting to live life Pnimiusdikally. I consider a particular student who has questions about everything. She struggles, man. I feel for her. Constantly battling integration or seeking authenticity. It is a heavy-duty approach to life.
Thing is.. she's real.
I feel her struggle because I do it, too.
That's me. In the classroom, letting the girls behaviour get under my skin or their questions rankle me deep inside. NO! Part of moving to being a Guide on the Side is placing the students front and centre. I've been working on this for two years! Of course, I need to put myself in the class, be present and be a part of it. But it needs to be a little more external, a little less self-centred. Students success, failure and focus are not fully reflective on me as a professional. Sure, to a degree it is reflective, but I need to get out of myself a bit and make it more about the students growth and acquisition of skills and knowledge. Time to get a bit more Chitzonisdik, Morah!
For me, being Chitzon in this circumstance is more true to my mission. And thus... I plan to blog a bit more often, to get it off my chest so I can keep on teaching. Reflection is key.
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