My electronics are slowly dropping out of my life. My SLR was stolen a couple months ago, and today my toddler dunked my Smartphone. The loss of my camera still rankles, but the missing phone just brought relief. I've got a love/hate relationship with that device and considered getting rid of it many times.
Once, my phone went missing Erev Yom Kippur and I didn't buy a new one until the end of Cheshvan (5 weeks later). I didn't miss it. In fact I wrote a great piece about the 5 weeks of serenity. In my quest for perfectionism I never posted it, but I'll dig it out at some point.
So I'm thinking of holding off this time...
I'm done with "smart"phones.
Done with 6000 messages.
Done with entertainment apps.
Done with my kids using my "personal" device.
Done with always being on-call.
The Grand Dump happened as we were getting geared up for the park. I was hanging laundry. Mendel was outside with me, holding my phone. That normally wo…
My sister Chava is the most awesome person you'll ever meet. Fun, active, thought-provoking and just gorgeous. She wrote an incredible piece on her jury experience this week. Enjoy!
The court room is tense. The room is silent, everyone is following directions, there's about 40 people and I'm #3. The judge begins asking each person questions. #1 then #2 and suddenly my hearts racing and I hear the judge say #3! I am sure everyone can see my heart pumping, my red face and my shaky voice. All eyes are on me. I'm talking to the judge! The judge keeps reassuring us, its all good, no need to worry, there's no right or wrong. My turn passes.
For the next group question you have to raise you hand to answer yes, and I again, this time way more relaxed, raise my hand and answer the judges questions. Not so tense and scary after all.
This experience hit home. This is exactly the time frame we are in right now...that tense aura of the month of elul, hearts pounding, shofar is…
The bottom line is, I need to be at peace with whatever decision I make. It really can work both ways. This, then, is the dilemma of choice: Choosing.
There's a recurrent theme on this blog (and in my life!) I'm a teacher. I'm a mother. And a person somewhere in between... I constantly strive to hit the perfect balance. I'm sure I'm not alone in this struggle. Currently the struggle is taking shape in the number of subjects I've committed to teach. Roughly two weeks ago I gave notice to my head of department that I'd like to drop a subject. The transition period was (is) rife with regret. I just can't let go. I keep rethinking the decision.
Intriguingly, a student asked me if the Tanya had any advice for decision-making. I loved the question - I could so relate. My nature is so indecisive and when choosing between right and right, well... the responsibility is on me and it's just not too fun.
On my Shabbos morning walk I churned out the following so…